Ok so I just saw something disturbing and have to share…why? Because I can’t keep the horrific mental picture in my head…I must infect your mind as well otherwise I might go insane.
I was in the gym running along on the treadmill when a guy walked in wearing a robe. Hmm, not sure why he’s wearing a robe, but maybe he’s going to go out the other door and sit in the hot tub…I couldn’t be so lucky. First mental image, the guy in the robe is a Woody Allen type guy. Short, little…not thin…just a little guy. He has the whole Woody Allen-esk hair which basically is slim to none and a major comb over. He’s even got the glasses to complete the look a like contest. He heads towards the weights and that’s when he disrobes. Oh God! The horror! He is wearing nothing more than a pair of shorts that are a cross between a Speedo and running shorts…basically nothing there. He’s not wearing a shirt and for his foot attire he chose flip flops. At this point I want to say “no shirt, no shoes, no service” Since I’m not the gym warden I can’t, I just have to avert my eyes elsewhere…but where?! I glance at the TV trying to read the captions that are appearing but I can’t focus since I don’t have my glasses. Damn eyesight! I then decide to close my eyes and focus on the music that is playing in my ipod but soon realize if I do that I’m going to fall off the treadmill, hit my head and fall unconscious and probably wake up with the little dude on top of me trying to resuscitate me. So I open them back up and look at the mirror in front of me where I try to focus on my forehead but no matter where I tried to pinpoint my cornea, my eyes seems to land on the little guy with the little shorts and the little muscles he had as he worked out. I will just testify right here that I wasn’t trying to check him out, it was more like one of those gruesome anatomy shows on TV where they are peeling someone’s face back in surgery and you can’t take your eyes off of it no matter how many ways you try to tell yourself it isn’t actually real. The only difference between those shows and this guy…I actually like watching those shows, this I could do without since the granola bar I had for lunch seems to be coming back up.
While the guy could probably bench press me since he was handling the weights like they were cotton balls, I think there should be some sort of dress code when walking into a gym. Any thoughts? Seriously…at least when there are other people around, at least for the children’s sake! At least he put his robe on when he left so that everyone else wouldn’t have to see it, although I’m convinced if it was warmer out he would be walking around flexing his muscles as he flip flopped away.
I headed toward my bar in my living room (sweet 70’s apartment…gotta love it) so I can drink and hopefully forget everything that I saw….cheers!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
maybe he should wear a uni-tard, HE,HE,HE,
Nothing is hotter than lycra/spandex
I don’t know what is sadder. The fact you bloged this or the fact that I read the whole thing.
The thing that is sad is that you are the one telling me to write more and update my blog every freakin day and now you're complaining about the content?! Dude, pick a side.
I think you have a nice pace going so when you don't have anything to write about then you don't have to write. Posts like your Olympic rants make up for lack of posting and stories about dudes in shorts and flip flops...But that's just me.
I'm sorry I don't know all the "bloger rules". Maybe I should have you send me the hand book.
Post a Comment