The concert of the year

It all started with Mr. Teacher’s fascination with crooning. I have no idea how it got started or where he found this attraction, but he was fixated on seeing James Darren.

I asked Mr. Teacher “why do you want to see him?” and his response was “he’s cool, he’s a crooner”. Just when I felt like I time warped I realized that I made him go to see George Michael in concert, so I owed him.

The tickets were bought and the tone was being set to see an old Vegas type of show…not to mention an old guy. Then the phone call came…my mom. She informed me that James Darren not only was a singer, but he also made a guest appearance on Star Trek: Deep Space 9…as a crooner. AH HA! Sneaky Mr. Teacher neglected to tell me this bit of information, it all made sense now. Especially as he sat there with his shit eating grin when asking if he knew he was on Star Trek.

We get to the concert only to realize we’re one of 3 groups that are younger than 65. There was us (30 and 31 respectively), a table next to us with a couple that looked like they were in their mid 30’s and who were very goth looking (I was wondering if they realized where they were, until I realized they did when they started cheering because of his star trek fame), and another table that had 2 couples in their 40’s. The rest, all collecting social security.

The music started. The live band started playing their pianos, drums, trumpet, and xylophone. Yup, I said xylophone. Can’t get much better than this…or can it?! As the band increased their intro, here he came…JAMES DARREN!!!! And we were off…the seniors went wild. Most standing and clapping as he came out, others sitting and clapping (more than likely they couldn’t stand because of a bad hip).

The singing wasn’t bad, I will admit that it wasn’t as boring as I thought it would be. He had a nice voice and I actually like that kind of music since I am a Dean Martin fan and all. However the thing that weirded me out the most was when he would talk in between songs and you could hear the clatter of his dentures hitting each other with each word he spoke into the microphone. His fixadent evidently wasn’t holding too well. If I was wearing hearing aids like the other guests, I probably wouldn’t have heard it.

Halfway through the show an older woman walked to the stage and handed him a bottle of scotch. Evidently only his die hard fans knows he likes scotch. Then another woman came up and handed him a white rose while she stood there with her chin in her hands admiring the dreamy James Darren. I was waiting for a pair of panties to be thrown on the stage. Mind you they would have been big old lady granny panties. Thank God that didn’t happen!

The night ended with Mr. Darren going through his repertoire of movie and television appearances. Not only was he in Star Trek, he was also Moon Doggie in the Gidget movies, was in the Yogi Bear and Flinstones cartoons, as well as a guest appearance on Melrose Place. If I would have known that I would have brought the man a dozen roses and given him my bra, but I didn’t want to give anyone in that room an aneurysm.